Category: Goals

Meet Me at the Stage Door

Theatre.

Theatre has been part of my life since I was a kid. My mom used to take my brother and me to see shows at Casa MaƱana in Ft. Worth, and then as I got older, she and I would see shows that came through at Dallas Summer Musicals. The first show I remember seeing and loving was The Phantom of the Opera. Kevin Gray (OBM) was the title role. I was in awe of his talent and joined his fan club. (This is back when you had to actually fill out paper and mail something to join. He – or the club – sent me an autographed headshot.)

Fast forward a few years to 1994. I was cast in my very first show – As You Like It – at the Globe of the Great Southwest in Odessa. I was a lady-in-waiting and the understudy for Phebe. At only 14 years old, this was a big deal for me. I never went on as Phebe and I’m not certain I could have, but I thoroughly enjoyed the experience getting to work with some incredibly talented individuals. It also got me out of school a bit! After this show, it would be roughly ten years before I would step foot on stage, but when I did, I didn’t look back.

As You Like It – Globe Theatre of the Great Southwest, 1994 – That’s me stage right (audience left) with the black dress and blue thing over the top – 3rd from the left, back row)

I have been fortunate to be part of some amazing shows since I found my way in – San Antonio College: Seussical the Musical (Mrs. Mayor); Sheldon Vexler Theatre: Urinetown: The Musical (Soupy Sue), Side Show (Dolly Dimples, u/s Violet), VEXed: A Musical Review, RENT (Mark’s Mom, “Season’s Soloist”, costumer), & Little Shop of Horrors (Ensemble, soloist); The Playhouse (now Public Theatre of San Antonio): Here’s Love (not my favorite show, but I met some amazing, lifelong friends doing this one), A Christmas Carol (4 years and a variety of roles), The Sound of Music (Sister Sophia), The King & I (wife of the King), & Thoroughly Modern Millie (ensemble); Woodlawn: 9 to 5: The Musical (Margaret Pomerance – the “Atta Girl” lady).

Each of the aforementioned productions, and others not listed, have helped me grow as a performer, and each holds a special place in my heart for one reason or another. One, of course, stands out more than the rest.

I first saw RENT in 2004 when my best friend & I went to NYC. I’d heard a couple of songs from the show but didn’t know it like most of my friends. I didn’t know which characters died. I didn’t know anything about who Angel was. I didn’t know the character relationships. I just knew that it was a big deal and I needed to see it. The cast was incredible: Matt Caplan (Mark), Jeremy Kushnier (Roger), Mel B – yes Scary Spice!! (Mimi), Maggie Benjamin (Maureen), Andy SeƱor (Angel), D’Monroe (Benny), Danielle Lee Greaves (Joanne), Mark Richard Ford (Collins). I remember the moment I realized Angel had died. I’m pretty certain I let out an audible gasp. And I am certain I sobbed. The song I had stuck in my head? “Goodbye Love.” I saw the show on Broadway another 2 or 3 times. I’ve seen the tour 2 or 3 times. I saw the movie (blech). I saw the final performance screening in theaters multiple times. And I have listened to the cast recording countless times. RENT very quickly became a favorite.

So when Ken Frazier decided to direct it at The Vex, I decided I was going to be in it, some how/way/why. I had my hopes of who I wanted to play, and unfortunately that didn’t happen. Truth? The sting is still there. But it all worked out, and I loved being part of the show in the capacity I was. And I had a BLAST as Mark’s mom. I also loved getting to surprise friends when they heard me hit that money note in “Seasons of Love.” Our cast was brilliant. The set was perfect. The costumes gave subtle nods to originals, but were unique (looking back, I’d change a few things). Ken made it his own in so many ways, which was special as the San Antonio debut. I have never felt that kind of a bond with a cast for any show I’ve been in. We left rehearsals crying. We knew these stories were about real people. That the world Jonathan Larson so carefully crafted was very real. And our job was to tell those stories. We changed the names, as the script says you can, during “Life Support” to those of people we knew or people on the creative team knew – even names from friends – who lost their battle with AIDS.

“La Vie Boheme” – RENT – Sheldon Vexler Theatre, 2010
RENT – parents, Sheldon Vexler Theatre, 2010

After being in the show, it was hard for a while to listen to any recording of RENT, or to even see another production. It just held – and continues to hold – such a special place in my heart, and I knew I would be an unfair critic of any other production. But with time comes distance, and I’ve since gotten the opportunity to see some wonderful productions, one of which I saw last week at The Public. They have a solid show, and I highly recommend you check it out.

One thing seeing the recent production at the Public has done is make me realize exactly how much I miss performing. I have not been in a show since Little Shop of Horrors in 2013. I had a couple of opportunities that didn’t work out because I was in school and/or I had moved into a new position at work, so I wouldn’t be able to give the show the time it deserved. I’ve also gotten to stage manage a number of shows, which I’ve thoroughly enjoyed. But I miss the stage. I miss stirring an emotion in the audience. I miss meeting friends at the stage door after they’ve seen a show. It’s not that I miss hearing people say “oh hey – you’re wonderful” or anything like that. I genuinely miss singing, dancing, and telling stories. And I miss the camaraderie that comes from being part of a show. There are shows this season I would’ve auditioned for, had timing worked out. One is a bucket list show. But. Such is life, and I know the show will be beautiful. I don’t know yet if I’ll be able to see it though. šŸ˜¦

A number of theaters will be soon announcing their next seasons, and I can’t wait. I’m hoping there’s something at one of them I can do. I’m hoping I can make it work with my work schedule, which can be quite busy. The hard thing is the season auditions. We don’t set our Arts & Culture season at work until after the season auditions happen. So am I automatically out because I don’t totally know my conflicts? I hate that. It feels so unfair. Or do I audition anyhow, and then later update them if I have any specific conflicts? I’m serious, y’all. What’s a girl to do?

Meanwhile, I’m going to work on songs, and update my repertoire. I’ll take some voice lessons. I’ll get active and take care of myself. All of this so, if I’m able, I can be as prepared as possible for any possible audition. Because I can hear the stage calling.

And I leave you with these (because what kind of theatre person wouldn’t include videos of themself singing) –

Laura Michelle Hoadley & me singing “I’ll Cover You” from RENT
“Disneyland” from Smile
Beth Erwin & me singing “For Good” from Wicked

To Body with Love

Husband and I have been talking for some time about getting healthy. Each summer, when he works camp, we make plans to workout together, eat healthier, and “get it right this time.” Of course, we don’t do the working out. Sometimes we eat healthy. And we don’t get it right.

Today, husband made the same promise. “This summer, I’m going to really work out with the trainer. Maybe not everyday, but some days. Or swim or work out on my own. This is the summer.” I reminded him that he says that every year, and he chuckled, but said he means it this time.

I’m hopeful that we really may stay focused and commit to being the healthiest versions of ourselves. After all, he will be 40 this year, and I’m not far behind him next year. And we are still trying to get pregnant, so it makes sense that we would do everything we can to get ourselves healthier. The only way we’re going to be successful is to be healthy inside and out.

Lately, we’ve been trying our hand at eating Keto. We haven’t fully gotten there, but we’re definitely doing low carb. I didn’t want to thrust ourselves into such a major change, but I’m finding that I really enjoy the foods we’re eating. I need to be better about meal planning/prepping. I’m HORRIBLE about that. So then I get to a point where I don’t have anything for breakfast or lunch, and to fix that, I’ll skip breakfast and then go buy something for lunch. Fortunately, I’m not doing fast food. I’ll usually get something healthy at HEB or whatever restaurant I’m having lunch. Husband, on the other hand, is skipping breakfast and then eating chips & a soda for lunch. It’s hard, because I want us to both do this fully. I think it’ll help us and the only thing we’re hurting by not doing it is ourselves. Got recipes you like? Tips for meal prep? I’d love to hear your ideas!

I haven’t decided if Keto is the answer for us. One thing is certain from what I’ve read is that it’s excellent for PCOS, which I have, and it can help people with infertility. For now, I will keep pushing forward and hope I can stay committed to living an overall healthy lifestyle.

I’m not at the point of saying what my starting weight or measurements are, but I do have that info jotted down. I hope in a few months or a year, when I revisit this, I can feel confident enough in myself to share where I started to show how far I’ve come.

Until then…

Goals for 2019

Every January 1, I compile a lengthy list of goals I hope to accomplish over the next calendar year. Inevitably, I complete half to 3/4 of my list, but never entirely, and I’m disappointed in myself. And not because it’s a bunch of hard things, but more because it’s just a lot to try to do. 365 days seems like a lot, and it seems like it should be easy to do quite a bit in that time, but when you add in work and life, sometimes the reality is that you just don’t have as much time as you’d like. So this year, I’ve decided to shorten my list by about half.

Ladies and gents, I give you my list of goals for 2019:

  1. Go all in with Keto.
    • Keto helps PCOS, which is something I have and is a part of the reason for my infertility. I have had multiple friends who have gotten pregnant after doing Keto. I have nothing to lose but weight.
  2. Take another Central Market class
    • Jack and I have taken a class two out of our three anniversaries, plus we did another one in the middle of the year last year, and we’ve thoroughly enjoyed the experience. And yes, we have gone on to use the recipes we’ve learned later.
    • I would welcome another class with Jack, of course, but I also would love to do one with friends.
  3. Travel
    • Traveling is in my blood. “I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes.” To not travel would be, in my opinion, to not live my best, fullest life. We don’t have to travel around the world or spend thousands of dollars we don’t currently have to have a meaningful vacation. We just need to go somewhere, whether we visit NYC again, or drive a couple hours south to the coast, or head into the Hill Country. I just want to go somewhere. I’d also love to do a trip with my girlfriends and one with my mom.
  4. Go to church regularly.
    • Last year, we joined University United Methodist and, soon after, the choir. We enjoyed it immensely, but then we had a miscarriage and then I stage managed a show, and suddenly we were not regularly going to either. We need to get back on track.
  5. Read 6 books.
    • That’s 1 book every 2 months. I think this should be doable. Especially when my job involves planning author events. It should be a no-brainer. And my current list of books to read is quite extensive.
  6. Go on more double dates!
    • Some of our favorite dates have been with friends, so why not do more of this? And not just with the same couples, even though we love them. It’s just great to do and see new things and people.
  7. 1 date a month with the husband. Duh.
  8. Walk more in prep for runDisney Wine & Dine 2020
    • In 2020, I’ll be 40. O.O As such, my goal is to join my friends in participating in runDisney’s Wine & Dine race. This includes a 5k, 10k, and half marathon over the course of a few days. It seems like a lot, and right now I’m not sure it’s something I can accomplish, but I plan to train to get there. And if I am not able to successfully do it, well, at least I tried and trained and did something to make myself healthier. Can’t go wrong with that.
  9. Have more girls nights out.
    • Date nights are fun, but I need my girls. Nuff said.
  10. Learn how to use my Cricut.
    • Husband bought me a Cricut for my birthday…last May. And I have yet to learn how to use it. He’s probably convinced it was a waste of his money and that it’ll just sit there, collecting dust (he’s never said that). I know there’s a lot I could do with it – even making things I could sell on Etsy. Several of the things I got for family gifts this year came from Etsy, and I’m about 99.9% sure they were done with a Cricut or similar device. WHY PAY SOMEONE TO DO WHAT I KNOW I CAN DO!?

Alright – that’s it. Ten things to help keep my year busy, exciting, and engaging in many ways. Nothing too hard or stressful. No actual resolutions. Just goals of how to live my best, healthiest life, and to work my way to making other dreams become realities.

Got ideas for how I can make some of these things happen? Book suggestions? Ideas for date nights or girls nights? I’m all ears, and I welcome your thoughts.